To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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