i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
if only i could text you this smell
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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