I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
i think i just lost a toe
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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