Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
