I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
