It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
i would one night stand the shit outta him
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
