we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
