i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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