yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
