Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
My vagina just clenched in fear
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
