i will never coherently bang her
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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