I want to make a zoo with you.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
