that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
