I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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