I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
