we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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