I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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