All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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