I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Randomize
