no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
