Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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