I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Randomize
