Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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