i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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