Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Is her dick bigger than yours?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
