Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
