Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
