you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
