weddingsv make me drug and hornr
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
