Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
