okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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