I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
