I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
