There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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