I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
