take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
