bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
