you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
