he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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