Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
