I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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