She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
