I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
