The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
