you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
