belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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