she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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