My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
