I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
