Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
